The people, and things around you, your environment, and how you set your life up completely and utterly matter. This year I have really learnt that, to win 5 awards I became really selective about what I let into my life, and how I let them in, including what I read about, who or what I watched or listened to, took part in, as well as what I ate. For me it’s how you invest your time not spend it that makes all the difference, and that includes the people you invest your time being with, because they will either be supportive of your progress towards your goals, or they will sap and drain you, leaving you thinking it’s all pointless.
Now we live in a society that quite likes to give you a good shake at times, feeling fearful and embarrassed about learning new things due to someone taking the piss or putting you down during that learning curve. We aren’t all born great at doing things, we have to learn, and to put the time in practicing, and those people around us who cheer us on during those times of us blowing the wrong notes on the trumpet matter.
People can be the undoing of you, I know, 2 nights ago I went dancing in Leatherhead, Surrey, and I’ve not been dancing long, very much a beginner and one gentleman asked me “how long have you been dancing” so I told him, and he said, “thought so” the look of disdain was palpable. Now I licked my wounds, because this was the second comment in less than 2 dances about my ability, the other person deciding that shouting at me was a way of getting a better performance.
I’m at the stage in dancing of conscious incompetence! I have a laugh at myself getting it wrong, but unfortunately sometimes others don’t see it that way. Their attitude affected mine, making me dance even worse the more i became conscious of how bad I was at keeping up with them, and understanding what they were doing with me. To the point where I went and sat the next few dances out, wondering if it was worth it, to be taken by the hand by someone lovely who said, “you can’t sit these out, and I want to dance with you”.
People carry messages of learning, in fact everything carries messages of learning, and those you surround yourself with make all the difference to that learning. After telling my next dance partner I was bad, a beginner, and totally uncoordinated, he told me I was lovely to dance with considering how many times I had danced. My confidence rose again, and I was off accepting dances again.
Look at who is around you, how they talk about the things they do, and about you? The language they use with you, and then question why you have them around? What are you learning from them, are they supportive of you? How do they support you in your life, and your life’s purpose.
Dancin’? You askin?