Mind over matter

I see most of my clients monthly, for me it’s about giving the very best service I can at a price that they can afford and which I can give them, so my prices always include email and phone support between sessions, but over the years there have been clients who have wanted more than this and it’s left me a bit confused. I never wanted to be someone people needed to see week in week out, creating a dependence in my clients like that just didn’t sit well, not when I know something they often don’t…that the body is an amazing self healing mechanism, one that is fully capable of healing itself.

I know it just needs the right things to be in place, at the right times, and then to be left to do the job itself, hence why I tend to only see my clients once a month. But I am continually asked by some clients for me to see them more frequently, at first this confused me, but I keep being told it’s because of something that they don’t see in themselves and it’s the energy, and positivity about their healing which I have in bucket loads. I am just convinced that they can get well, and I hold that space for then when I’m practicing my therapies with them.

Now don’t get me wrong, I would never lead someone down a path of feeling they are able to heal if I don’t think they have that capacity, which is why I will have the initial consultation, and give the guarantee that by the end if I think I can’t help them then I will be honest and just gift the session. This does happen, and it’s generally not because I don’t feel I have the skills because I have a great team around me in Sussex, Surrey and Hampshire that are able to work with me to make up that skills gap. No it’s because more often than not the potential new client is just so negative about their own ability to heal or in those people they have worked with previously, I know that no amount of interventions from myself or anyone else will help them. So I won’t put either of us through it.

Our thinking matters about ourselves, and others, and we show our thinking through the language we are using when expressing ourselves and talking to others. Scientific research has been showing the nocebo affect for years that the medical practitioner can have on the patient they are dealing with, if the doctor is more negative about the patients ability to get through an illness then they can have a massive affect on making sure that doesn’t happen. Yet the very same doctor in a piece of research who was more positive about the patients health outcome and showed care and attention saw the patients recovery increase by significant amounts both in time and frequency. Even the doctors themselves know that those patients who are more positive about life, have a strong desire to live it positively, and are positive about their recovery from the illness are more likely to get well. So yes my clients thinking totally matters to me, hence why I will do such a lot of coaching, listening, emailing, and calling to check they are on track, and use other therapies which are often not nutrition related, for me these are often more important than just making sure they are eating the right foods. Because it’s rarely just about what food.

Over and over again the placebo affect has to be taken into account in research, medical researchers actually initially will try and work out those people who are more affected by the placebo affect because they consider it skews their results. They don’t want to be showing big placebo results they want their medication to be showing that it’s worked better than the placebo, but in all research there are results showing that the placebo has worked for some of those taking part in the medical trials. But this tells us a lot about the power of the mind, there is anecdotal evidence as well as documented cases by doctors, which highlight this, and that is when someone is given nothing but a sugar pill or fake surgery that they have spontaneous as well as gradual healing. This includes cancer, tumours, serious knee injuries, and autoimmune disease so this isn’t just your common cold that it’s affecting. Some of it is documented in the likes of the Lancet and other peer reviewed journals so when people tell me there is no evidence, or research into what I do or these aspects of natural health, they do wish they had never said it, because I know there is plenty and its their ignorance about the research which is widely available that is highlighted. By also negating this those people are reducing how important you are in your own healing and saying a medication is the only answer. I’m not saying in some cases that it’s not, what I’m saying is don’t under estimate the capacity you have to heal yourself.

You are more powerful that you realise, you are strong and resilient, an amazing self healer, have no doubts about it. I am a conductor of your orchestra, enabling you to use these abilities, and enabling you to get back in touch with them, it’s never about me, yes I have a lot of energy and belief, I have a massive knowledge of therapeutic approaches, but I believe my role is to enable you to have that too about yourself. I was told last Wednesday by one of my clients that I am an amazing therapist, and healer, but I know it only happened because the client is too. She, as most of my clients are, is an inspiration, my clients transformations motivate me to continue the work I do daily, I never tire of hearing about how well people are doing, or about how they are discovering things for themselves.

Just a quick list of things that I see holds my clients back from healing and using this capacity:

  • Worrying about everything
  • Imagining the worst is going to happen
  • Fear
  • Stressing about things that may never happen
  • Pessimism about life
  • Lack of trust

I know it’s not easy to let go of these, I was there myself a few years ago, stress and constant worry held me back from enjoying opportunity in life and at one stage I couldn’t even get out of my own home. I had been ill for years, exhausted, and nothing physical seemed to help beyond a certain point, so I started to work on my mindset. I learnt and attended a massive amount of training courses, hence why I have so many qualifications! But it’s now simple because I know what works for me, every day I get up and do Psych K balances, I never miss a day, it’s one of my daily rituals, and has transformed my life, when the going gets tough I use this and EFT, Theta healing as well, I tend to mix them all in together now. I come out of my ‘balancing’ session with a renewed focus, and belief about myself. I use Holosync, which a number of clients also use and have benefited from, which helps you to get into a deeper meditated state, this works for some and not others, the down side is the amount of marketing material which is sent out so just be warned. Then I watch my language, when I’m told I’m being obstructive I take stock, and then JFDI which is what I’ve become known for. I do something that scares me each week that takes me out of my comfort zone, I do something that develops me each week, if not each day I’m not in clinic, and I’m totally focused on not only being the best I can be, but also in the words of my favourite tutor making my tail wag!

So lets go back to the list:

  • Worrying about everything – how much of this is in your control? How much of this outside of your control and so is something that is a waste of your time worrying about, because you can’t change it anyway? If it’s in your control then do something to change things, even if it’s small steps, empower yourself. Otherwise let it go.
  • Imagining the worst is going to happen – well I find as do a lot of my clients that more often than not the worst never seems to happen, car crashes, bosses being angry, loss of customers just never happens. So you may as well start to imagine only the best happening, visualisation is used by the best of those in sports, David Beckham and Johnny Wilkinson are ones that come to mind who use it to great ability, and is shown to work.
  • Fear – but we have fear for a variety of reasons so seeing someone to get to the bottom of what created the fear in the first place can help to resolve this.
  • Stressing about things that may never happen – so many of my clients no longer sleep due to stressing about the things that might go wrong or the amount of work they have, I started to realise this is an epidemic in our society, and most of us have too much on our plates nowadays. Simplifying things, and getting it all in perspective of what is truly important in your life can really help with this, as well as practising time management techniques, and saying no. I decided years ago not to get stressed about things that didn’t fall into the is it life or death scenario, and walked away from my job, since following the things I love to do, and have a passion for, as well as being in charge of my own working life I’ve not only been happier, I’ve achieved more than I would ever of dreamed of!
  • Pessimism about life – I watch this when it all gets a bit much! Don’t play it in the office if you are at work!! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Q-GLuydiMe4 But seriously I find that those who are pessimistic are looking for things that are and have gone wrong to are just looking for constant reinforcement of what they think their life is about. Make your life about things that make you happy, that raise your positive energies, that enable you to enjoy life again, but only you can do this, it’s never about other people changing it’s about changing your perception and how you deal with things that come your way. It’s shown in research that those who get on better in life, don’t have any less things happen to them that are negative, they just have a different perception on how to deal with them so they don’t get so knocked. Oh yes and turn off the news, it’s a nightmare of things being awful, I’m not saying to not be aware, just don’t fill your life with other peoples focus on the negative, there is a lot of good happening in the world, lets make more of that happen and be the change we want to see happening our collective energies can change things. Focus on what you want to happen rather than what you don’t want to happen.
  • Lack of trust – getting to the bottom about what is creating the lack of trust in life is absolutely key from my perspective and working with someone else will help this

 

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