What my auntie told me, and tales of coming unstuck…
My auntie said something to me a few years ago, it wasn’t particularly eloquent but it was profound at least for me, and that was ‘You’re a long time dead’. I have no idea if she’s right or not obviously I’ve not got to that point yet, but what I do know is that life is too short to be wasting it on things that are pointless, ugly, that don’t enhance my life in some way or are making me unhappy.
We all get stuck, I see it with my clients all the time, stuck in our ways, stuck in a situation, stuck with people, stuck with our homework, stuck in a career, stuck in relationships, stuck with our diet, stuck with our health, stuck with our thinking. Unable to see a way out we replay the same pattern over and over until it becomes too painful and we are given no choice any more. But it really doesn’t have to be that way, but it happens because the fear stops us from seeing the options that we truly have, fear of change, fear of the unknown, and not really knowing that the grass sometimes can be greener. When opportunity knocks the fear stops us from taking the risk and living the life that is truly wanting to be lived, in fact crying out to be lived. We are meant to be creative energetic happy and vital beings, full of awareness and connectivity. Able to communicate and support others, and full of wanting to do this. Our eyes should be bright, our hair should shine, our skin supple, our teeth and bones strong, we should be fit, healthy, full of energy, vim and vigour, fast in our thinking, and genuinely happy, but a life not lived will slowly erode this and take it away from you.
I’ve had an eclectic life to say the least, I trained as a weaver originally, I’ve been a lecturer in art and design at Uni, I’ve exhibited my work around the world, and won awards for 2 pieces that I have in my hallway! I have work in private and public collections, and I even wrote an e book. I’ve been doing radio interviews for the past 3 years on a variety of stations with amazing people and I opened my own radio station after a 11 year career in the corporate sector basically working in change management. After years of personal interest in natural health, mindset and nutrition, I set up in my own practice which I ran in Surrey for just over 4 years, it won awards, I’ve got a celebrity client base, and then I decided to move countries as you do! Life should be about living, not fearing loss but wondering what might be, and having the creativity and energy to see this and make it happen.
My dad taught me to wait for the things that I truly wanted rather than buying it immediately on a credit card, instead I was taught to ask myself do I truly need it, and if I did then to save up, in the old fashioned way so that when I finally had the money I can see if it’s been worth the effort that it took to get it. I’ve noticed a lot of things need a lot of effort for the potential ROI, and sitting on the top of the mountain looking out with my other half seems a better bet.
So I have done, mostly at least, it’s a bit difficult with a house but everything else I weigh up how much I will have to work to get it, how much effort I will have to give to to have it, and then weigh up if it’s worth giving up that many hours of my life for. That might sound a bit extreme but what it taught me was that there is little outside of food, warmth and shelter, that I want to give my hard earned time up for, except chocolate, I work for chocolate! But seriously I would rather spend my time walking previously with my dog, now I’m working out in a gym waiting for the better weather and a new dog to arrive at some stage. I would rather converse and have great sessions with my clients and say hi to my friends, I would rather read, I have a lot to read. There is very little other places I would spend my time, and the pursuit of things just gets in the way of this.
What this means is that I don’t have a house which has lampshade on each bulb at the moment, why, partly because I’ve not lived there that long, partly that I’ve not found the right lampshade, partly that shopping for me isn’t an activity I see as being that rewarding, but mostly because I’m too busy living life to be bothered about the bloody lampshades.
We are hung up on the things that we think are making our lives better, we work masses of hours to ensure that we have them, slogging away in jobs, and work, to get the money for things that I have to wonder are they really enhancing our lives?
This is no way to live, led by the nose by advertisements, and corporate mantra’s that leave you thinking there is no other way, but those things don’t mean anything, they mean nothing in this world in reality, nothing. My nana would of said well you can’t take it with you, she’s probably not wrong either! They are things that ensnare us into working more, making you feel good for the moment you buy them, but ultimately being more stressed, and more controlled by our environment rather than ourselves directing things, those bright shiny new objects are doing it for us.
So what are you wasting your time on? How are you wasting your life? I meet people thinking they are in control, doing drugs or alcohol or huge amounts of comfort eating, hiding their truth behind a stimulant or drug that changes things artificially for them. What can’t you face? What is truly so bad about what is out there in the life you are choosing to live?
This life is for living, it only feels pointless enough to have to take drugs when you surround yourselves with things that are meaningless. Do the things you truly love, that make your heart sing, your heart soar, your energy rise, that make you smile daily, we should be investing our time in ourselves, and those around us, our time is our only wealth and we allow it to tick away, it is the only thing we really have to spend. I do think that we are a long time dead, be the inspiration for your life.